Sunday, April 25, 2010

THE CATERER

My career as a secret agent began when I received this note:

Here is your mission:
- attend Noora's 31st birthday party
- the theme is James Bond and all things spy-related (only so that we can all dress smashingly, drink martinis and talk with a Sean Connery lisp, saying pretentious things like "shaken, not stirred")
- master chef, Julie "Ruby Jane" Mondor, is coming from MTL, so there will be lots of delicious hors d'oeuvres

*This message will now self-destruct*



Thus, life as Ruby Jane was no more. I became The Caterer, hired by Noora aka Girl Birthday to wine and dine the notorious, the rich, the famous, the dangerous. Using my skills in the culinary arts, I executed a perfect balance of delicious flavours to mask special potions that affected imbibers in varying ways. My dishes, depending on the mission, had the power to seduce, extract truth, sedate, or in some situations, KILL.

After a week of reconnaissance in the culinary field,
I was ready to embark on the mission.

A few infamous individuals were in attendance...


X and A, Girl Birthday, El Gato, The Caterer, Mdot


The Club and More Gasma


Le Cinephile, El Gato, Æ
(I must express my admiration of El Gato's resourcefulness. All it took was a fake fur vest, paper, a sharpie, and two saliva-wet twists to make ears, and El Gato was joined by an evil feline that would accompany him forever in his villainous exploits.

That evening, I and fellow double agents Girl Birthday and Le Cinephile prepared an array of amuse-gueules, each named after a James Bond film:


Thai-inspired mango and basil salad with a curry-lime vinaigrette



Grape tomatoes stuffed with feta and herbs



Food from the motherland: St-Viateur bagel bites topped with a cream-cheese, smoked salmon, green onion and caper spread.
Note: 514 is the area code for Montreal.




Genoa salami, chorizo, prosciutto and french mustard



Girl Birthday's own Chana Massala on naan.



Every secret agent must keep up his or her energy
with nutrient-rich crudités and hummus.




Ruby Jane's Jerk Chicken



Large pasta shells stuffed with Cajun Cod Salad

"Codfinger" was the night's hit. It came together randomly during a recon mission at Loblaws. I asked for the fishmonger's freshest white fish. I got cod. After searching in vain throughout the area for pre-made polenta, I happened upon the pasta shells. The recipe came together out of the void.

- Take one filet of cod, season with olive oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper and roast in an oven at 350F for about 20 minutes or until flaky. Remove from oven, drain juices and cool.
- Prepare pasta shells as directed on the package (al dente)
and let cool.

The Salad:
- Break up the fish with a fork.
- Blend in 2 tbsp of mayonnaise, 1 tbsp of honey dijon, 1 large clove of minced garlic, 2 finely-chopped spring onions, and a handful of finely-chopped red pepper and celery.
- Season with salt, pepper, cumin, dried chili, lemon zest, paprika, fresh thyme and parsley (use your instincts for the flavour! A secret agent must often rely on her instincts during kitchen missions).

- Delicately spoon the salad into the shells.

Ruby Jane Snack Mix

Æ provided the music for the night with this radiostream
from Soma FM. Click on the man with a license to kill.

Secret Agent: The soundtrack for your stylish, mysterious,
dangerous life. For Spies and PIs too!

3 comments:

Ice Bug said...

Nice one Julie! We definitely had fun. If you are making this into a real profession - you will be great!

Noora Sagarwala said...

Best night ever! (And I couldn't have asked for a more skilled and passionate caterer).

M Wheeler said...

Holy cannolis, no one cooks like you do! You did a bang-up job. Happy Birthday Noora, and a la prochaine!